AN ELEGANT GOODBYE: Beginning from the End

 Assalaamu alaykum my dearest daughter,

This is love from my heart to you. Life is a teacher that provides lessons for anyone who wants to learn from it. You must know that in life, you learn from everyone and from everything.

Be that girl who doesn’t just look or listen but extracts from everything she sees or hears; gems, to make her a better person every day. Be a beautiful soul.

My letter to you today is about how my mum had ended this life with my dad. It is something from which I keep drafting gems to better my life and my relationship with people.

This is a story I believe must be told again and again; and I owe it to an awesomely blessed woman to at least put this into writing for all ladies to learn from.

A Hodgepodge of Bitterness and Sweetness

Their marriage was indeed one full of lessons, at least to their daughter. She witnessed the tears that had fallen due to the many sorrowful times and she also appreciated the moments of happiness and the smiles they came with even though they had been comparably few. Sometimes, she looks at her mom and she really wonders how a human being could have such a beautiful heart that could take all that was happening in. But her daughter was to understand soon what Allah azza wa jal means when He says;

‘Verily, with every hardship comes ease’

(Surat Ash-Sharh, the Relief, Chapter 94 ayah 6)

Obviously, her mother went through all the tough times with strength that could only come from Allah, As-Samad (the Self-Sufficient), whom she worshipped in diligence. He, azza wa jal, gave her ease in all of her hardship just as He, subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa had promised. And He, azza wa jal, also says;

‘Allah does not burden a soul except with that which it can bear…’

(Surat Al-Baqarah, the Cow, Chapter 2 ayah 286)

Her marital burden as has been proven today, was bearable by her and indeed today, she enjoys some amount of ease just as Allah azza wa jal says;

‘Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease’

(Surat At-Talaaq, the Divorce, Chapter 65 ayah 7)

May Allah, Al-Mujeeb, increase her and all of us in ease. Aameen.

She Wondered about Dad

He had obviously been in a pondering state. You could see it on his face and in his mannerism. The signs of sorrow and regret over something were all around him.

He was driving his daughter to the bus station to pick a car to school when he had started letting it out – his regrets and sorrows. Her younger brother was with them.

He let the words drop on how awesome their mom had been to him from the start of their marriage up until then as he spoke. He listed many of the wonderful things she had done for him – always putting him first – and then he had repaid her with nothing to write home about. He explained his amazement at the fact that upon everything, she taught her children to love and respect him. In the end, he made a powerful du’a: He prayed;

‘May Allah raise the status of your mother and her children higher and higher both in this Dunya and the Akhira.’

A Particular Night: Getting Closer to the End

Dad had been sitting on the floor; putting gifts that mum had bought together. He was in a sorrowful mood. His regrets were clear. Then the apologies came pouring. He turned to his daughter and son who were present and said;

‘My children; do forgive me for the sake of Allah for everything that I did to your mum and you.’

That was after he had apologised to their mother incessantly. They had assured him that just like their mum; they bore no grudges against him. Then he had said again;

‘When you talk to your brothers (they were not around then), tell them to please forgive me for the sake of Allah.’

The children said they would and they did. He had explained to them that he was fully aware that their mother was a great wife; unfortunately, he could not treat her likewise. Then he said as he wondered;

‘People are even going to think I am an ingrate for treating something this great so badly.’

On a Journey with her Dad

So, she had travelled with her dad and everyday he kept talking about the goodness of her mother; how she cared about him and many other things. He was clearly in a state of reflection on many things that had happened in the past – those she had been a witness to and those unknown to her. 

Sometimes he smiled when he talked about some of the moments and sometimes though the tears did not flow, he cried deep within. She had only watched him without really understanding exactly why he was portraying this behaviour. She was to understand a lot sooner.

The Last Night: A Grand Goodbye

Her dad had stood up to hug her mother. Their daughter had been surprised. She could not tell if she had ever seen such a scene before. It was one full of emotions. Then, he had consoled her saying;

‘This is the end Rahmatu. This is the end.’

Before the hug, he had been repeating to her his sorrows and regrets and he had said in simple and clear words;

‘Forgive me Rahmatu. Forgive me.’

And he repeated this again and again sorrowfully. Her mum had seen a great amount of pain – their daughter had been a witness to many though she was told that – that was just a tip of the iceberg. Interesting enough, their daughter had heard her mum say many times that she had forgiven her father in his absence – when he had not even asked. Allah, Al-Affuw, enjoins us to be forgivers of one another in many places in the Qur’an. He says;

‘And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is due from Allah. Indeed, He does not like wrongdoers.’

(Surat Ash-Shuraa, the Consultation, Chapter 42 ayah 40)

So, her mother had said calmly;

‘I have forgiven you everything. If there is any wrong I also ever did against you, do forgive me also. Let us forgive each other.’

Then he had assured her of his forgiveness also. Her mother had then made a complaint about something that made it a lot harder for her to be with him sometimes and then he rose to give her that soulful hug saying those words that their daughter had realized later, meant a lot more than she had thought that fateful night.

The Photo: It is the End

It was early dawn after the night of the hug. Her father had been overly excited. His daughter, a ponderer, wondered happily about her dad’s situation. She felt hope for a brighter future – a ‘joy full’ one…smile to Jannah!

Then the issue of taking pictures had come up. He said;

‘Let me take a photo with Rahmatu.’

He stretched his hands lovingly to beckon her. She sat beside him, he put his hands around her neck, smiling happily – they took the photo whose image still remains clear in their daughters mind. Right after the photo, he had left on a journey with his daughter.

He was Gone: Never to Come Back

He was ill. He would/could not say a word to anyone. His daughter did not want to lose him. Sometimes, there was the hope of him getting better yet at other times…well…his family were only hoping against the inevitable.

It got to a point where he had to be in the hospital. His daughter had come from school to the hospital to find her father in a state that broke her heart. Then she knelt beside him, staring at him and unable to hold back the tears.

Then his tears fell too as he stared at his daughter to whom he had proven fully his love. Then he would turn his head away from her so she doesn’t see his tears. When the tears dried up, he will turn back to her and then the tears fell again.

The pain was almost unbearable. Then he had forcefully raised his hands towards her; signalling her to hold his hands; she did. Then he placed her hand on his stomach for a while. She could do nothing but only remember to keep reciting Ayaatul Kursiyy for him; hoping against hope that he gets better.

The doctors and nurses looked on sadly. Then he was transferred – his illness was getting worse. That is the last time she ever saw him – IT WAS A GOODBYE.

A Flashback

When he had left on the journey with his daughter after that photo with his wife, he had kept talking about how good her mum was again and again. It was their second time travelling together within about four months and he had told her stories of all kinds about the past on both occasions. He told her;

‘I am telling you all these because you are so peaceful and you will handle it with care.’

The day before he lost his sense of speech, he spoke so much that his daughter was alarmed. It was as if he wanted to say all the words he could never say from the next day all at once. He praised and gave gratitude to Allah for her mother. The next day, he could not utter a word again until the end – about two weeks later.

May Allah azza wa jal continue to forgive and have mercy on him. Aameen.

To My Daughters; With Love

So, my dear girl, mummy wants you to list the lessons you have learnt from this story and then try applying it in your life and in your relationship with others. Do that before you continue reading.

Gems and Jewels

1.      Both her dad and mum were lucky and blessed to have sought forgiveness from each other at the very last minute. It is important especially to a Muslim.

2.      Her dad was luckier because Allah azza wa jal gave him the opportunity to realize his wrong during his end times. He was then able to rectify it before he finally met his God, Allah.

3.      Their daughter has been blessed to have been a witness to all of these so she could be cautious about her relationships with others.

4.      And many more…

‘And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought’

(Surat Ar-Ruum, the Romans, Chapter 30 ayah 21)

Remember one thing my dear daughter; no matter what relationship you have with another person; daughter, wife, sister, aunt, niece, mother, friend, student, classmate, employee, etc.; be completely sincere with the person and try your best to do the right thing according to the rules of the kind of relationship and Allah azza wa jal will always be the custodian of that relationship.

Alhamdulillaah! Strive to be a beautiful soul and keep smiling to Jannah! Jazaakumullaahu khair!

Love fiisabilillaah

Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu

www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com
www.mmahajia.blogspot.com

www.letterstomydotas.blogspot.com 
www.rubabawords.blogspot.com
www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com